Why am I single?

Recently I have been asked this question more frequently than before. It could be that I am actively starting to date again and the fact that I signed up on a web site to meet new people doesn’t help the frequency of the question either. So with that question being thrown out there it made me stop for a minute and really think of WHY I AM SINGLE. I start by saying my singleness is not by choice its by circumstance. I really do want to be in a meaningful loving relationship. However my thoughts are I haven’t met anyone who can fill the position yet. I don’t think I ask for to much realistically. Yes I do have a list of standards and we all know every woman has the list of her perfect man, but I am willing to put all the extra stuff aside for a few basic things.

1. BE SINGLE: how may times have I run into a guy who wants to get to know me and come to find out he is married, in a middle of a situation or living with his child’s mother.

2. BE ELIGIBLE: I seem to attract the men who are not eligible to date. Either they are going thru a divorce or recently divorced and have a complex about trust and don’t want to get into another long term relationship. Or the man who has 4 kids by 3 different baby moms and has no time to date, or think about someone else in their life at this time. I have nothing against men with children if he is taking care of them but I refuse to be a part of drama or mess.

3. BE HONEST: I can respect you more if you tell the truth and not play games. If you like me you like me if you don’t you don’t. don’t keep me around just to see if you can sleep with me when you know you have no intention of having a relationship with me. This also goes for being yourself. If your honest with who you are it prevents confusion later. Don’t fake just to get my attention then turn out to be something I cant stand. Begin with honesty in everything and it will take you a long way.

4. BE LOVE: its funny but a lot of people really don’t know how to love. I want someone who is able to give and receive love. Of course love has to develop first but once its there are you able to handle it and how do you respond to someone who truly is selfless and able to love you. Do you take it all and be selfish or are you able to give that same type of selfless love back to your mate.

Now those are just the basics, I feel that those 4 things are not much to ask for. Now we all know there has to be some physical attraction somewhere in the mix and preferences we like but that’s getting into a detailed list that I will probably post at a later time. But based on the original question this is why I am still single. Its because I haven’t met that one man who was single, eligible, honest and showed an ability to love.