Tough Murder

Has anyone heard of this? It’s a stupid crazy obstacle course that a few of my co workers decided to do over the past weekend.
You go through a 10-12 mile course that designed by British special forces to test your endurance and strength. First let me say that whoever does this and finishes has my respect because I could never get up the courage to do it. Not only do you crawl thru mud and walk thru fire but you also get zapped by live electrical wires. Like I said its stupid crazy but its all for a good cause I guess. They raise money for wounded warriors… anyway take a look for yourself by visiting the link below.

http://www.toughmudder.com/?gclid=CPKmgaGYhawCFcx-5QodOyE5-A&utm_medium=cpc&WT.term=mudder+race&utm_campaign=Mud+run+search&utm_source=google&WT.medium=cpc&WT.campaign=Mud+run+search&WT.srch=1&WT.content=text&WT.source=google&WT.mc_ev=google&utm_content=&WT.mc_id=google.Mud+run+search&utm_term=mudder+race&cshift_ck=b501bcd9-e2d6-40af-9594-bd6b71851a4acsqWWEFfvg

Now you know they are crazy for that !

Question

Ever feel like your stuck at a cross road in life sometime? Like your trying to figure out what to do, where to go and what decisions will make or break you? Well I know I have been feeling that way a lot lately. I am working on my personal growth and development in all aspects such as job, parenting, relationships and spiritually. While doing this I have come to a reoccurring question. How do you continue to press forward and not fall back in a comfort zone that once was you? Its so easy to go back when things become challenging. I know its part of life and you cant get to where you want to be by doing the same thing. BUT ITS SO EASY! Its so easy to do things the old way because you already know the outcome and your comfortable with it. I would love some feedback on this. Were you able to go forward or stay in your comfort zone?

Why am I single?

Recently I have been asked this question more frequently than before. It could be that I am actively starting to date again and the fact that I signed up on a web site to meet new people doesn’t help the frequency of the question either. So with that question being thrown out there it made me stop for a minute and really think of WHY I AM SINGLE. I start by saying my singleness is not by choice its by circumstance. I really do want to be in a meaningful loving relationship. However my thoughts are I haven’t met anyone who can fill the position yet. I don’t think I ask for to much realistically. Yes I do have a list of standards and we all know every woman has the list of her perfect man, but I am willing to put all the extra stuff aside for a few basic things.

1. BE SINGLE: how may times have I run into a guy who wants to get to know me and come to find out he is married, in a middle of a situation or living with his child’s mother.

2. BE ELIGIBLE: I seem to attract the men who are not eligible to date. Either they are going thru a divorce or recently divorced and have a complex about trust and don’t want to get into another long term relationship. Or the man who has 4 kids by 3 different baby moms and has no time to date, or think about someone else in their life at this time. I have nothing against men with children if he is taking care of them but I refuse to be a part of drama or mess.

3. BE HONEST: I can respect you more if you tell the truth and not play games. If you like me you like me if you don’t you don’t. don’t keep me around just to see if you can sleep with me when you know you have no intention of having a relationship with me. This also goes for being yourself. If your honest with who you are it prevents confusion later. Don’t fake just to get my attention then turn out to be something I cant stand. Begin with honesty in everything and it will take you a long way.

4. BE LOVE: its funny but a lot of people really don’t know how to love. I want someone who is able to give and receive love. Of course love has to develop first but once its there are you able to handle it and how do you respond to someone who truly is selfless and able to love you. Do you take it all and be selfish or are you able to give that same type of selfless love back to your mate.

Now those are just the basics, I feel that those 4 things are not much to ask for. Now we all know there has to be some physical attraction somewhere in the mix and preferences we like but that’s getting into a detailed list that I will probably post at a later time. But based on the original question this is why I am still single. Its because I haven’t met that one man who was single, eligible, honest and showed an ability to love.

The Best Man

Currently on the plane to Las Vegas to see a man who I call my brother get married. Whenever he introduced me to people he would call me his “Best Man“. They would look jokingly but that was the easiest way for people to understand our friendship. Now I am considered the “Best Woman”. I will be standing right next to him on his wedding day, giving him my support like I always do.

I have known this man for about 16 years and counting. Ever since we met through a mutual friend in high school he has always seem to make his presences known. Everything from popping up to the house unannounced, attending birthday and family celebrations to even paying his respects at my step dads funeral. He has truly been a part of not only my life but my families life as well.
Through out our years together we would trade stories when happy, give and take advise when confused and even cry to each other when hurt. I can truly say he has been there for me when I needed him and I for him when he needed me. One of my Best friends indeed and he would always say I’m the female version of him.

I remember when he told me he was ready to settle down, all I could do was laugh. I just knew he was going to be a bachelor all his life. So after the humor wore off and I realized he was serious I did nothing but support him. I could feel that he had met his match. From the moment when I first met his fiancé I liked her. She was down to earth , genuine and not intimidated by him having a female friend. She hung in there with him and now they are getting married. I always thought I would have been the one to jump the broom before him but he did it first. He hung up his jersey and handed in his player card for love. I’m so proud of him and I know he will be a great husband for her. 9-10-11 will be a date to remember.

The good the bad and the confused.

What’s the definition of a "good man" or a "good woman" when it comes to relationships and dating? I’m so tired of hearing my friends say they cant find a good man, then at the same time my male friends are saying its hard to find a good woman. If both sexes are thinking the same thing then it must not be lack of quality. Right?

After speaking to some friends, co workers and family members, it all comes down to the people we are attracted to are not meeting the standards we have set for a mate. Sometimes we have this long list of items that our mate must have or posses. There is nothing wrong with having an idea of what we want but we also must be realistic. First we must see that the type of person were initially attracted to must not be the type of person we want. Sounds confusing but its really not.

Example: if a woman is visually attracted to the “bad boy” image, 9 times out of 10 the guy is going to really be a bad boy. Its very rare that you will find the money making Accountant walking around with baggy clothes on looking like a thug…. Same goes for the men. If a man is attracted to that “video vixen” most likely she isn’t the happy homemaker you take home to momma.

So we have to look at what we are attracted to and possible change our perception to see what we really want. Attraction is only temporary, we need to dig deeper within ourselves and understand it’s the connection that leads to love and everlasting happiness. The attraction is just the icing on the cake.

If we are smart when choosing a partner then we will most likely not have unnecessary drama that comes with some folks relationships. Then we just might be able to say we have a good man or a good woman in our life.

Inspiration & Faith

In my opinion, we all need a little inspiration from time to time. And if you’re a believer like I am you realize how important it is to have a daily dose of the word to get your day started.
If you know me you know I’m not perfect and I don’t pretend to be, but I do recognize where my blessings come from.
So I make it a point to pray every morning and give thanks . I also have been blessed enough to have a friend send the daily word as a message to my e-mail box.
So when it comes to spreading the word, inspiration and positivity I do not want to be stingy, so I would like to provide some internet resources that I use and hope you find it just as helpful as I do .

These links provide everything from entertainment &support for family to inspirational quotes and actually bible readings on line.

http://www.beliefnet.com/

http://www.focusonthefamily.com/

http://www.joycemeyer.org/

http://www.biblestudytools.com/

Now I know there are many many more resources and on line tools but these are just a few that I frequent. Take your time read thru and enjoy.

Welcome Back!

Hello my faithful readers, sorry to have left you hanging waiting and wondering when and what my next post will be. I have had the worst case of writers block lately so I haven’t felt very creative. I’ve had moments where I will think of something, start to write and then not be able to finish or close the thought.
So as you can imagine it has been very frustrating for me.
Well wait no more my beauties I have been motivated to complete my thoughts, finish writing the ones I have started and write some new stuff too. So in the next few weeks you'll see a few updates and continue to view pieces of my life through this blog. I thank you for your patience and happy reading.

The Lord at Work

Today was a great day, i went to church with a friend of mine and we both left that service with a word to hold on to until next Sunday. In fact he was so excited I
gave him some space on my blog today. The lord is truly at work..... Enjoy!

(Talk about getting the week off to a good start. I went to church with my friend this past weekend. I thoroughly enjoyed the service. The church had a guest speaker for their "Women's Day". Now most preachers have a set sermon that they preach from, but this time was different. She had a prepared sermon but felt led by the spirit to speak on something different and I'm so glad she did. I felt as if some of the things that she spoke on applied to me. She made some very important comments about not giving up, staying the course & God answering prayers. I know God answers prayers. I prayed for so much but never really saw anything happen, so I thought. God doesn't answer us when we "want" but more so when we "need". I prayed for an end to the madness that I've been experiencing. After not seeing any end I simply asked the Lord to just give me a day of peace & happy feelings. Well today my prayer was answered. Not when I wanted it to be but when it was needed. Hearing the message today & sharing this experience with my friend gave me a new found hope, a new found joy. It gave me a my day of peace. I must stay focused & on course. This race is far from over, I got to lace up my running shoes. Can't nobody do me like Jesus!)

AMEN!!! :-)

Insecurities

sometimes I let my insecurities get the best of me. I find myself having quiet moments where everything stands out to me.
I'm not pretty enough
I'm fat
my eyes are not evenly spaced out
I wish I had perfect teeth
The list can go on and on. Why do we do this to ourselves? And by who's standards are we to be judged at what is attractive and what isn't? Its hard to stay on track sometimes and even harder to overcome comments people make about you or someone you identify with.
Also when it comes to relationships, the insecurity moments play a major role in happiness. I find myself at times thinking too much into things, sometimes feeling the guy is doing something wrong or not being faithful due to insecurity's and past experiences.
I know sometimes its hard to overcome but I'm learning a little each day to stay focused on me and not let those moments take control.

One of my QOD

From time to time I post thought provoking, conversation starters on my social networking sites. This was one I posted on my Facebook page and received some interesting feedback. I say my questions are general but we all know they come from life experiences, specifically my life….

So my question was this “ do you think a long term relationship/marriage can last if you just got out of a long term relationship/marriage?”

The responses I received were expected but its funny how different men and women think. As you can probably guess all of the women said no, it’s not likely it will work out. The person that was in the relationship needs time to heal and prepare themselves for the next relationship.
And all of my men said yes it can work, some gave examples of how it did work for them and what the heck do they need to heal for? Most likely the relationship was over and they became detached before the break up became official.

Overall, a very interesting conversation came from that status. Now in my situation I would love to think this guy is ready for another serious relationship but through conversation and seeing some of his actions this man is still hurt, and re living the past. The pain of a woman that he used to love hurting him is too much to let go. And that is what’s stopping him from being happy with someone who really cares.

It's May???

Can’t believe its May already, it seems like yesterday we celebrated the New Year and welcomed 2011. Well as you all can tell by the time frame between my Last post and this one I haven’t been very motivated to write lately. With so much going on who has time to write? I look at most of the other blogs I follow and they too have had long periods of time between post. I guess it’s just that time of year.