Emotional Rehab

(Before you read this please remember this blog is my therapy. Sometimes I share personal parts of my life because it helps to get things out instead of keeping it bottled up. I'm an artist and I'm sensitive about my sh*t)

Some things I just don't understand when it comes to men, dating, sex, feelings, and relationships. What the heck is going on??? I ask myself that question on multiple occasions. Many of us women have the same story and it all ends up with heartache or pain of some sort. Very few of us find that happy place and get the good man that's going to love and be a devoted.

Around this time last year I wrote a blog titled "All Men Lie, Most Men Cheat, I Still Haven't Found One To Prove Me Wrong" After experiencing the situation I discussed in that article, I decided to go hard core and treat the men how they treated me. Now for a woman to do that is hard because no matter what, we still somehow develop feelings. So to avoid catching feelings I would disconnect myself before anything had the chance to develop.
This went on for a few months until I met this one guy who I can honestly say stole my heart. It wasn't suppose to be that way and I had no intentions with him to begin with but he saw through my exterior gained my trust and broke down some walls, layer by layer he was getting closer to me in ways I didn't think were possible.
Everything seemed to be good. No pressure, public outings, great communication. Then all of a sudden everything came to a halt. Without warning, the communication stopped....
WTF!!! is all I could think. how in the world do you know what I've gone through emotionally in the past and the types of dealings I've had with trusting men and you pull something like this....Oh hell naw!
Part of me wanted so bad to let out the inner stalker and slash tires, key cars, call up his job and some more things. But after the initial shock, bucket of tears and the hurt I came to realize he was unavailable.
I would love for him to answer my questions and tell me why he went about things in the manner that he did but its not my place to wonder anymore.
I prayed on it and instead of me wishing harm I wished for peace. And if he couldn't find happiness with me then he finds happiness with himself. I'll let GOD handle this and i know I'll have my answer when the time is right.
So back to starting over, my walls are thicker than ever and I'm going through an EMOTIONAL REHAB.