Shallow or Truth

Sometimes I like to pose questions on my Facebook page to get reactions to some real life scenarios that I know that's going on.
In this one scenario this Guy told his woman while they were dating that he was not attracted to big women, and he would not stay around if she fell outside of the weight range he thought was acceptable for her height. The woman was ok with this because at the time she was a nice size that was pleasing to him. Time goes on, he ask her to to marry him and she says yes.... The guy reminds the woman of his physical preference and again tells her I don't like big women. All you have to do is take care of the house and maintain your weight. I'll Take care of everything else including car notes insurance, mortgage/rent, utilities,groceries and I'll even put some cash in your pocket if needed. The woman again agrees to the terms. She goes to work, takes care of the house and maintains her weight. A few years into the marriage they have a kid, and as we all know having a child will change a woman's body structure. She gains weight he's ok with it due to circumstance but he reminds her of his preference and ask her within 6-12 mos to get back down to size.
Two years go by and the wife is the larges she has ever been with no effort to lose the weight..... So her is the question.....
If before u get married your fiancé tells u he's not attracted to big women and all u have to do is keep the same weight he met u with. Do u get mad if 5yrs down the line he wants to separate because u put on a significant amount of weight?
My facebook friends are the greatest, here are a few of their responses.
-nope...cuz you knew he was shallow when ya got married

-Nope cuz what if I do get big, you are suppose to love me for me, so that means you only married me for my size.. Wow!!! a negative...

-so don't get fat... fat is unhealthy anyways. problem solved. you stayed thin an sexy to get him and once you got him you stop doing what you did to get him. you better continue to do what you were doing to keep him. Women quit showing men your representatives just to get them. (yes this works both ways) Many relationships fail because people forget to put forth the effort you did in the beginning.

-Hell yea u get mad! That's the problem with ppl these days...they don't honor their vows! It says for richer or poorer, sickness and health, in good times and in bad til death do u part... her gaining weight may be that bad time...he is supposed to stick with his wife... that's like leaving him just cause he lost his job! He can find a new job just like she can lose weight!

-there's a big difference between gaining weight and just being lazy and u gain the weight!!! Now if anyone should be mad it should be the man

On-line dating update

Day 5 of my on line adventure, and let me tell you this is nothing like what I expected. I thought it was going to be like a meat market of desperate guys looking for something other than a relationship. So glad its not that way and if it is I'm not getting the crazies.
Anyway, I received a few communication request during the first day and I sent some request out. I have had a guy who was boring as everything send me these questions that I was not interested in answering at all and a guy who seems cool so far. Its ok but moving very slow.(as it should) It's only day 5.
25 more days to go....

On-Line Dating, Good or Bad Idea?

Well we’re about to find out… I just signed up to try it out for one month only, starting today 10/22/10. Uploaded a picture and profile and will blog about my experience. I figure since my love life has been so crazy that this could be no worse. My picture is on facebook, this blog, and on twitter, not to mention I’m tagged in a bunch of my friends photos and probably some other pics posted places I’m not even aware of. So the scare of having my face seen on line is out.
I figure this experience will be very interesting and note worthy. So for the next 30 days wish me luck and lets hope for some interesting blogs.

Happy Birthday To Me!!!

I turned 32 this past Friday and I am loving every moment of it. I had a great time with family and friends and I felt the love from my facebook peeps. For some reason I never paid attention to how good it felt to get a phone call instead of a text on a birthday. I'm use to people texting and messaging all the time it really stood out the few friends that decided to pick up the phone and say a quick hello with well wishes.
I had a great time bowling and hanging out at Dave and Busters. And I also enjoyed my little after party seeing the male entertainers.
Overall a great time.

Ready For Love

India Arie said it best in her poem that was put to music. Love is unpredictable and sometimes one person feels it and the other person doesn't. Sometimes you have the right person but its the wrong time and sometimes the feeling is not love at all.

I am ready for love
Why are you hiding from me
I'd quickly give my freedom
To be held in your captivity

I am ready for love
All of the joy and the pain
And all the time that it takes
Just to stay in your good grace
Lately I've been thinking
Maybe you're not ready for me
Maybe you think I need to learn maturity
They say watch what you ask for
Cause you might receive
But if you ask me tomorrow
I'll say the same thing

I am ready for love
Would you please lend me your ear?
I promise I won't complain
I just need you to acknowledge I am here

If you give me half a chance
I'll prove this to you
I will be patient, kind, faithful and true
To a man who loves music
A man who loves art
Respect's the spirit world
And thinks with his heart

I am ready for love
If you'll take me in your hands
I will learn what you teach
And do the best that I can

I am ready for love
Here with an offering of
My voice
My Eyes
My soul
My mind

Tell me what is enough
To prove I am ready for love

I am ready

I feel every word in those lyrics. Good job India!

What a day!

How in the world does a simple results appointment turn into an all day event?
I strategically planned an appointment time so that I could make it in time to work a half day today. Well it looks like my Doctor had a different plan. After waiting over an hour in the waiting room to talk for 5 min she told me I need some more stuff done and to go NOW! I felt like I was playing monopoly when they say go to jail do not past go and do not collect 200.00. Geesh, she always gets me when she talks to me like my mother. Lol However I don’t hesitate to listen since the last time she spoke with urgency she saved my life.
Six months ago she advised for me to go to the hospital right after a visit with her. She told me to not go home and to get someone to meet me there. Turns out I was just hours away from a drastic event that could have taken my life. I spent 3 days in the hospital and a month off from work. So glad she knows her stuff cause to the inexperienced doctor they may not have noticed the urgency like she did. I thank the lord for her knowledge and concern.

just thinking...

I have noticed some patterns and similarities in the situations I have come across. And since I’m on my journey of finding self I realize it may not be a problem with the men but a problem within me.
I was reading some random quotes and one of them said,
Just as we cannot see our own faces without looking into a mirror, we cannot know ourselves without looking at our relationships.
How true do you think that statement is? I thought about it and for me it makes sense. The relationships I enter into may not work because I’m seeing too much of myself in them and I’m running from the truth about me. It seems I’m looking at someone else to fill a void, and make everything better instead of searching for happiness inside of me. This would be why usually for the first six months of any new friendship I establish it’s all good until the truth starts to come out.
Going forward I’m learning not to run, I’m facing my fears and doing my best not to place blame on someone else for me not being happy.
It’s going to take a special person to see it, deal with it, and love me enough to not run when I get emotional.