Random

What happens when you don't blog for a few months but you have all these ides in your head? 
You end up with a random vent and possible telling all of your business to folks you barely know on your blog. 

Ill try not to tell too much but who knows.....

_ First I have to say I'm a little upset that my writings and partial posts have been lost due to my net book freezing on me. I was pissed at first but then I realized these are my thoughts and thru time I will remember bits and pieces and be able to put them back together.

_ My Favorite Necklace broke the other day. The crazy part is I did nothing to force it to break, the chain just popped as I was walking from my desk leaving work for the day. I still have the charm but who knows it could have been a sign. I say its a sign to leave the past and replace it with something new.  

_ I hate reality checks and being told about myself but it has to be done in order for us to grow. Recently I was told my attitude stinks, especially when things don't go the way I want them to or think they should go. I will say being told this hurt me but its not the first time this has come up. I was told this before but the messenger was different. Being told something like this by someone you really care about is different from a random person from your past.

_ My move date keeps getting pushed back, I'm ok with it since it allows me to pay down my debt but part of me feels like I'm stuck and have lost my Independence. It would be great if my Christmas gift to myself would be a move out date.

_since were on the topic of gifts, My Birthday is coming up very soon and I would love to get a special gift from a certain person, but my attitude may have prevented me from getting that.
BTW: I have no idea what I'm doing for my birthday yet.  Party, Trip, Club, small gathering with friends are on the list.

_ actively dating again, so I'm going to try out this speed dating thing. I doubt it turns out into anything but at least it will be fun and something to blog about. Might even go back on an on line site. the problem is not having people to go out with its going out with people who want what I want and who i find attractive. you can have the sweetest person but no spark of attraction. you can have the man of your dreams but he doesn't want a relationship so your stuck between waiting or going out and getting it. As I have always said " Timing Is Everything"

Thanks for allowing me to share, remember This Is My Therapy.

 I had to write this while it was fresh so excuse the possible typos and misspellings.

 Just read a post about the whats "expected" from a female when she visits a mans house she recently met for the first time and weather or not she is expected to give it up if there is mutual attraction.

Now the way my mind thinks I ask questions and need a little more detail. Questions like how did they meet? What type of environment were they in? what are the conversations like? And whats the purpose for coming to the house in the first place?

There were talks about safety, not wanting to falling into temptation and  fear of having the guy look at you differently and become disinterested if you didn't do what was "expected."

so here is my take on it..... 1) If I'm avoiding visiting a man I like for fear of temptation, then that shows lack of self control on my part. Before anything goes down a conversation should be had before hand of what the two of us are looking for. If sex is one of them then a sexual health conversation is needed.
2) Safety is a valid concern but most of the time our gut tells us ahead of time who is crazy and red flags are waiving before the exchange of numbers has happened. These signs are usually over looked  due to the type of clothes he's wearing, money he's spending or slick talk that's coming out of his mouth.
If the guy is crazy and wants to hurt you he will do so on the first visit or the tenth visit.
3) if they guy becomes disinterested because you wont do what he wants or "expects" from you then guess what? He was not good for you anyway, blessing in disguise and be glad you didn't fall for it. There is nothing worse that having some one fake feelings to get what they want then stop calling or leave you wondering what happened.

This is just my opinion, but ladies value yourself. If you don't then no one else will. Its not "expected"to have sex when you visit his house, sex is a choice that should be made mutually and not feel forced.

 

Reflection

From time to time I like to do some soul searching and self reflecting. Especially when it comes to relationships or lack thereof.  I acknowledge my flaws and admit to them then seek some much needed feedback from people. Some are friends I know dearly and others may be associated with comments from a post in a face book group or just conversation with mutual friends of friends.
No matter where my feedback comes from I try my best not to get defensive or take the feedback in the wrong way. I enjoy constructive criticism because it only makes me better at being the best me I can be.

Through my feedback it has come cross that I am  “mean” “selfish” “lazy” and lets not forget “spoiled“. All this time I thought that I was the nicest, most giving and hard working. Guess not in the opinion of these situations that I have been called out on.  Its all good because even though my view is different, I can totally see what folks are referring to when those negative words come up.

I’m still a work in progress….to be continued…

Searching for a home so my spirit can grow.

It doesn’t have to be a huge home with skylights and stadium seating, it doesn’t have to have network cameras recording and streaming live from 5 locations and it doesn’t have to have the most popular pastor around.

All it has to have is genuine people who believe, understand and can convey Gods message. 

The churches that I have been to in the past made me feel like I was just a body in a seat sometimes.  No one knew if I missed a Sunday or if I came every Sunday. I want a home where I can walk in and have the good hug and hello from a person who knows my name or at least remembers my face.It feels good to be noticed and makes you want to continue to come back.

I want a bible based church where the focus is not on the man reading the word but on the man behind the word.  The search is on to find that right fit for me, and if you have any suggestions I would love to visit your place of worship.

My spirit is hungry and wants to be fed so that it can grow.  

Quick Snowfall Post

It snowed today in the Washington DC region for a few hours. How pretty it looked falling from the sky but it made for a messy traffic commute home.
I'm not a fan of snow in this area for more that a few reasons but mainly people don't know how to drive in it and i'm still traumatized by the snow that blocked the beltway and roadways causing everyone a 4-6 hour trip home.
So I decided to stay at work for an extra hour to let the traffic die down and drive home stress free.
It was well worth the wait. While it took some of my co workers up to 2 hours to drive home It only took me 45 minutes just by waiting an hour.
Tomorrow the snow fall will be just a memory but at least we can say we survived the first real snowfall of 2012.

The Break Up

The infamous break up. Everyone goes through it at some point or another in your dating life. The question is are you the breaker or the break-e?  Its so hard to do and even for the people to claim to be the most strong can get weak when it comes to this topic.  Do you send the message through a mutual friend, do you just stop answering phone calls and hope they get the message or do you turn to technology to do it?
It has been made so easy to break up with someone via technology, such as a text message, email, or even through a facebook status. How is it that we can have sex and share intimate moments with a person but we cant tell them how we really feel for fear of hurting their feelings?
Don't you think by stringing them along or by not giving them the deserved respect is hurting them more?

Just something to think about...Its always going to be moments in the relationship when both parties are not on the same page. My motto is communication is key to everything you do. so as hard as it might seem the best thing is to communicate with them, let them know how you feel and please don't hide behind 3rd party technology.

Happy New Year 2012!

WOW, its 2012 and just like every year that passes we say it went by so fast. Where the heck did 2011 go and do we have anything to show for it?
Well not sure about you but my year was filled with a wide range of experiences, emotions and challenges. I’ve let some things go, held on to some and dreamed of others. Overall I am entering into this year with a different way of approaching situations and improving my communication skills.

My goal for this blog is to post more and hopefully get more of a discussion and feedback from you my lovely readers.

Remember this bog is My Therapy, a inside look at my thoughts
and some of what I go through. From speaking to a few of my readers I understand a lot of us feel the same or have similar thoughts but I have just been able to put it into writing.

I hope you all have a great start to your year and continue to be successful all the way to the finish line.